The disappointment of winning

Last year, I went into the Master Photographers Association with no expectation of winning. At best I hoped to get a finalist but t my surprise, I won South East Creative Photographer of the Year and the Overall South East Photographer of the Year. It was my first major title win.

Step forward one year and the London & Essex Regional Awards have just finished. I did well, winning best Male portrait, which was a very close category, with me just pipping, fellow photographer Andy Thomas for the prize (fortunately, he won best female portrait).

Now, one year ago, I would have been ecstatic for the win, I also received two other finalist and another two Merits, which is good considering that I only entered eight images. This year, whist I am happy for the win, I am also disappointed, as I was hoping to win best Overall Portrait, which want to a lovely children’s portrait by Annika Bloch.

I knew I had very little chance of winning the overall London & Essex title as I had very few images in, which were split into 2 categories and generally the winner, has to do well in several categories. This years overall very disserved winner was Joel Dyer, who did exceptionally well in the portrait category and winning the wedding category to win overall.

So why was I disappointed I tried my best to going with my normal attitude, where I thought that I would get a few merits and maybe a finalist but secretly I really was hoping to defend my title or at least get the overall portrait winner. So just winning a sub category was a slight let down. Which shows that my expectations have gone up.

Probably, the biggest positives, I received as not from the winning but from the comments of the Judge Panikos, who is generally acknowledge as being one of the best photographers in the country, who was generally very positive about my lighting, editing and ability to bring out expression in subject.

I am sure, given another couple of days, I will be very happy but currently, I just feel deflated. All I can say is bring on next year. :D